Q: When will you see a pole with a worm at both ends?
A: When you go fishing with a lawyer.
Q: What do you call a dozen sky-diving lawyers?
A: Skeet.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they'd rather keep their clients in the dark.
Q. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty-eight:
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?
Q: Who is the smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A. The caterer.
Q: Why did the lawyer cross the road?
A. To sue the chicken on the other side.
Q. Why does California have the most lawyers, and New Jersey, the most toxic waste dumps?
A. New Jersey got to take its choice.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
A: The vowel sound.
Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman pinscher.
Q: What is a lawyer's ideal weight?
A: About five pounds, including the urn.
Q: How do you get a lawyer down from a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
Q: How do you prevent a lawyer from drowning?
A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
Q: What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.
Q: Why are lawyers' brains so expensive?
A: It takes so many to make an ounce.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 75?
A: Your honor.
Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
A. Accountants know they're boring.
Q: What do you call an honest lawyer?
A: An impossibility.
Q: Why should you swerve to avoid hitting a lawyer on a bicycle?
A: That bicycle might be yours!
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
Q: What do you have when you have a lawyer up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a pothole?
A: People will try to avoid hitting a pothole.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a wheelbarrow full of shit?
A: The wheelbarrow.
Q: What's the difference between an accident and a calamity?
A: It's an accident when a bus full of lawyers plunges off the road into a river. It's a calamity if they can swim.