Dubious results

Posted on Tuesday, June 9, 2009, at 8:57 pm, by Alethea Oglethorpe.

Search Engine Optimization (SEO) is the art of manipulating the content of a website to maximize the number of people who arrive there through searches for chosen keywords. Caligula, our webmaster, insists that he has expertly optimized the Archelaus site to summon people who yearn to buy our peculiar but delightful cards. Unfortunately I am not certain the results bear out his claims. According to Caligula’s reluctantly surrendered logs, only one person arrived at the website during the last week by searching for “twisted birthday cards.” This compares unfavorably, in my view, to the five individuals who arrived during that same time period by searching for:

• proud hussy;
• skydiving riddles;
• china wall copulation;
• jokes about someone who doesn’t eat fowl;

and of course:

• saint raymond nonnatus prayer card with coin over mouth.

It seems to me that Caligula has some explaining to do.