Lawyer Jokes Etcetera:

Home is home, as the devil said when he found himself in the Court of Session.

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless paid for.

A client twixt his attorney and counsellor is like a goose twixt two foxes.

A good lawyer, an evil neighbor.

Preachers purge the conscience, doctors the body, lawyers the purse.

Lawyers and soldiers are the devil's playmates.

Go to law for a sheep and lose your cow.

A lawyer and a wagon-wheel must be well greased.

New laws are followed by new tricks.

The better lawyer, the worse Christian.

"Virtue is in the middle," said the devil, as he sat down between two lawyers.

Lawyers and painters can soon change black to white.

One goes to court with one lawsuit and comes home with two.

Love all men—but not lawyers.

A lawsuit is a fruit-tree planted in a lawyer's garden.

A bad agreement is better than a good lawyer.

The priest's friend loses his faith, the doctor's his health, the lawyer's his fortune.

A happy death is better than a lawsuit.

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands.

A peasant between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Law is a flag and gold is the wind that makes it wave.

When God wanted to chastise man He invented lawyers.

It's better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.