Ruination & Despair

Today we shipped a first order of fine cards to Greer, a fine paper merchant’s in Chicago’s Old Town neighborhood. It seemed like a good way to wrap up the year.

Greer has some pretty enthusiastic Yelp reviews, should anyone feel like reading those.

All members of our staff have left the office for an orgiastic corporate retreat at an undisclosed location. They will return, possibly somewhat the worse for wear, on December 31, 2010. We regret that we will be unable to attend to orders until then.

In any event, we hope that your preferred winter holidays have been/are/will be enjoyable. Unless, of course, they aren’t supposed to be, in which case we hope they are whatever else that might be instead.

On Saturday, December 11, 2010, Archelaus will be attending the Riverdale Park Holiday Market in Prince George’s County, Maryland. This will be the fourth year we will be selling our cards at this enjoyable event, and we highly recommend it to our customers (and prospective customers) in the area.

We were recently asked to design bookmarks for Ms. Cleto’s second-grade class at Edgelea Elementary School in Lafayette, Indiana. While we do not generally regard seven-year-olds as constituting our primary target audience, there seemed no harm in compelling our design team to see what it could do, with such results as you may judge for yourselves.

This morning we shipped a first order to Pennysmith’s Paper in Albuquerque, New Mexico. So, if you happen to live in that part of the world, now you can buy our fine cards directly from an established bricks-and-mortar retailer that’s been filling local stationery needs since 1979!

Archelaus is pleased to announce the arrival of its new Eastern Market tote bags, featuring the “Queen of the Ebony Isles,” a stunning illustration by Edmund Dulac (1882-1953). These handsome totes are made from 100% cotton and measure 13″ x 13″ with a 2.5″ gusset. Get ‘em while they last!

Update: Sorry, we’re SOLD OUT!

I see it has been more than a month since anyone has updated this blog. Most distressing! I myself, of course, have been fully occupied with my supervisory functions, primarily enforcing discipline among the Customer Service Minions, as they process orders both large and small. Cadwalader claims to have been designing new cards (to be unveiled shortly, so he says). Dr. Hurlbutt has been too consumed with his esoteric researches to check in. In short, we’ve all had better things to do.

Today, however, I am gratified to report that we have shipped an order to an entirely new wholesale customer, Bell, Book, and Candle in Dover, Delaware, “your one-stop shop for metaphysical needs” (which now include checkbox cards, evidently). And a fine thing, too!

Today we shipped a second order received in response to our recent advertisement in Greetings etc. — this time from the Whale’s Tale gift shop in Cape May, New Jersey. A seaside resort at the extreme southern tip of the state, Cape May is known for its fine beaches, Victorian architecture, and migratory birds. These claims to fame are now expanding to include Egyptian mongooses and Peruvian llamas!

Today we shipped an initial order of fine cards to Paper Gourmet in Auburn, Indiana. Apparently, having seen our advertisement in this summer’s Greetings etc., key decision makers were unable to restrain themselves from obtaining Archelaus cards for sale as soon as possible! This demonstrates a certain weakness of character that is greatly to be encouraged.

During last week’s corporate retreat in Dayton, our crack sales team was dispatched to nearby Yellow Springs in the hope of selling cards there. With success! Sam & Eddie’s Open Books at 232 Xenia Avenue agreed to carry our cards, and we shipped a substantial order to them soon after our return. I have finally received confirmation that the post office has delivered the cards, which should now be available for sale to an astonished populace.

This summer’s issue of the trade magazine Greetings etc. includes a special supplement on the 22nd Annual International Greeting Card Awards, or LOUIEs, which were presented in May. Only award winners and finalists were allowed to advertise in it, which this year, unaccountably, meant us! Despite the appalling expense, we ultimately decided to seize the opportunity, mainly because Cadwalader designed an advertisement so emphatically peculiar that we could not in good conscience fail to confront the magazine’s 22,000 subscribers with it, preferably before breakfast.

Anyway, the summer issue has now hit the streets, and we will see if our modest effort generates orders, or just angry letters to the editor.

Normally, we are somewhat reluctant to take on custom projects here at Archelaus, for the simple reason that they involve working with clients, who are often tiresome, stupid, and just more trouble than they are worth. Fortunately, Anna and Michael fell in an altogether less odious category, and we were able to contrive a full wedding invitation package for them, in both English and Hungarian, without any attendant incidents of manslaughter or grievous bodily harm.

The project began with this “save the date” wedding announcement, which went out in April:

Now, the invitation package itself has been completed, consisting of the wedding invitation, reception invitation, RSVP card, travel tips for Budapest, and envelope:

Here is the Hungarian-language version:

And here are the maps on the back of the English and Hungarian invitations:

Anyway, since no blood was spilt and our clients have expressed no intention to sue, we are choosing to consider the project a great success.