Ruination & Despair

Today we shipped a second order received in response to our recent advertisement in Greetings etc. — this time from the Whale’s Tale gift shop in Cape May, New Jersey. A seaside resort at the extreme southern tip of the state, Cape May is known for its fine beaches, Victorian architecture, and migratory birds. These claims to fame are now expanding to include Egyptian mongooses and Peruvian llamas!

There was an old hen
    And she had a wooden leg,
And every damned morning
    She laid another egg;
She was the best damned chicken
    On the whole damned farm —
And another little drink
    Wouldn’t do us no harm.

Today we shipped an initial order of fine cards to Paper Gourmet in Auburn, Indiana. Apparently, having seen our advertisement in this summer’s Greetings etc., key decision makers were unable to restrain themselves from obtaining Archelaus cards for sale as soon as possible! This demonstrates a certain weakness of character that is greatly to be encouraged.

During last week’s corporate retreat in Dayton, our crack sales team was dispatched to nearby Yellow Springs in the hope of selling cards there. With success! Sam & Eddie’s Open Books at 232 Xenia Avenue agreed to carry our cards, and we shipped a substantial order to them soon after our return. I have finally received confirmation that the post office has delivered the cards, which should now be available for sale to an astonished populace.

Last week Archelaus’s entire staff attended an orgiastic corporate retreat in Dayton, Ohio, all details of which must be suppressed to avoid criminal prosecution. While taking a break from the festivities, however, Customer Service Minion #3 snapped this quick photo of an Egyptian mongoose at the Dayton Art Institue. Crafted from bronze, the creature dates to somewhere between 663 and 525 B.C., and bears a strong family resemblence to our own much-beloved specimen from approximately A.D. 1580.

This summer’s issue of the trade magazine Greetings etc. includes a special supplement on the 22nd Annual International Greeting Card Awards, or LOUIEs, which were presented in May. Only award winners and finalists were allowed to advertise in it, which this year, unaccountably, meant us! Despite the appalling expense, we ultimately decided to seize the opportunity, mainly because Cadwalader designed an advertisement so emphatically peculiar that we could not in good conscience fail to confront the magazine’s 22,000 subscribers with it, preferably before breakfast.

Anyway, the summer issue has now hit the streets, and we will see if our modest effort generates orders, or just angry letters to the editor.