General Staff Communique No. 9
Posted on Saturday, October 31, 2009, at 1:05 pm, by Customer Service Minion #2.
In an unrelenting drive westward, Archelaus has reached La Crosse, Wisconsin. The Pearl Street Bookstore has raised the white flag of surrender and will be selling Archelaus cards by the middle of next week.
La Crosse is located on Wisconsin’s border with Minnesota. A prominent member of Minnesota’s congressional delegation is reported to have urged her state’s governor to call out the National Guard. “These pernicious cards are being openly sold all over Wisconsin,” she is quoted as declaring. “We must stop them from entering Minnesota before they have a chance to corrupt our children and other real Americans!”
