Ruination & Despair

Not content to rest on our laurels (such as they are), we are pushing ahead with something new and exciting, namely party invitations! Sure, you can always use some boring online service to issue your invitations electronically, but if you really want to get people fired up to attend your so-called event — be it a vegetarian orgy, a cornhusking, or a public hanging — wouldn’t you do better to send Archelaus invitations? Of course you would!

Our latest holiday card began life as a lame bit of vintage artwork, with some sappy text about “Compliments of the Season” being “the old, old greeting, kind and true.” Just a little tweaking, however, and you have a characteristic Archelaus product. Whatever that means.

Earlier this year, I used a cartoon by Ralph Fuller (1890-1963) in my series on the cartoons of the Great Depression (see part 8: Christmas 1931). It depicts Santa Claus as he emerges from a snowy chimney, stripped to his underwear, his eye blackened, exclaiming: “Gosh! I didn’t realize they were so hard up!”

Given the country’s current economic woes, we have decided to republish the cartoon as a holiday card this year. Just click on the image to the left for a better look!

An Archelaus task force, armed with a particularly large and diverse order of our fine cards, is advancing rapidly down the Door Peninsula in eastern Wisconsin toward the small town of Sister Bay, a popular vacation spot and home of Viva La Cabin and Viva La Cottage, stores widely known for their vintage-inspired collections “from flea markets to France.” Although no enemy activity has been reported in the area, all opposition will be ruthlessly suppressed.

How better to celebrate the holiday than with substantial discounts on skeletal warriors, armies of rented zombies, and tasty mutant spiders? (Unless you object to how commercial the holiday has become.) And don’t forget to ask about Dr. Damocles’s spacious crypt rentals!

This is our first ever Halloween card. I can’t imagine why we haven’t done one before. I do know I’ve been meaning to use that skull illustration for a long time.

Anyway, enjoy!