General Staff Communique No. 3
Posted on Thursday, July 16, 2009, at 9:47 pm, by Customer Service Minion #2.
After a short operational pause for rest and refitting, Archelaus’s forces have launched a new amphibious assault across Lake Michigan. Landings are expected shortly on Wisconsin’s Door Peninsula, northeast of the city of Green Bay, at the village of Egg Harbor, where advance scouting has established that The Shops at Liberty Square should provide a suitable location for a military command post. A terrifying team of Egyptian mongooses and Peruvian llamas is expected ruthlessly to crush all opposition, with suitably scant regard for civilian casualties.
Dr. Allardyce Hurlbutt wrote (on July 16, 2009, at 9:50 pm):
I think it is worth noting that Egg Harbor, Wisconsin, received its name in commemoration of a fierce battle fought there on June 23, 1825, by the arriving crews of a six-boat trading flotilla. The struggle began when the men pelted each other with hardtack as they neared shore. Once encamped on dry land, the crews resumed their fratricidal fight, this time hurling eggs at one another, with satisfyingly explosive results, until they had exhausted their supplies of ammunition.