The latest military developments
Posted on Monday, June 15, 2009, at 5:53 pm, by Customer Service Minion #2.
This morning, Archelaus launched a daring pincer movement on New Bern, North Carolina, home of Carolina Creations, a gallery carrying the work of over 300 artists and craftspeople. Dr. Hurlbutt informs me that New Bern is also where the pharmacist Caleb Bradham devised Pepsi-Cola in 1898 as a treatment for dyspepsia.
In related news, Archelaus has announced the imminent invasion of Wisconsin. Local authorities are bracing for an expected amphibious assault launched from Chicago across Lake Michigan, with the target rumored to be the northern Milwaukee suburb of Shorewood, home of the Garden Room, an upscale gardening store and tea room.
Top strategists in Archelaus’s newly constructed Situation Room declined comment for reasons of operational security.
